Dr. Ken Onu – ALIVE , AWAKE, ALERT & AWARE!

When negativity knocks at your door, do you recognize it and send it away? Or do you invite it in for dinner, or worse, to stay with you as long as it likes–possibly for your lifetime?

First, be clear that being the manager of negativity in your life isn’t about the fact that you have negative thoughts or feelings–you will. It isn’t about eliminating negative thoughts and feelings so you never experience them again–that’s not realistic. It is about training your conscious mind to notice such thoughts and feelings when they appear, and to recognize the different “costumes” negativity wears. You can’t manage negativity until you recognize and own how you engage it.

Whatever costume negativity puts on, what’s really embodied is fear. You might call it anger or another emotion, but underlying any negative emotion is fear–the fear you’ll lose something. This has everything to do with living in your personal power.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “Natural anger lasts for only about seventeen seconds.” This means the actual emotion you feel (any negative emotion) has its full-charge expression for that period of time. Past that, your conscious (and subconscious) mind takes over, usually engaging in reactions related to whatever fear was triggered.

When fear is triggered, you may project a negative future vision. You may pull up old memories to support why you feel the way you do. You’d call this justification for the reaction. What it really is, is feeding negativity–because you aren’t focused on what you can do that’s productive; you’re focused on self-preservation at any cost. Depending on your habitual reaction mode, you may close up like a telescope or let your sharp claws and teeth out.

Here are several common forms of negativity you may feed (or feed on):
• Prejudice of ANY kind (race, religion, financial status, etc.)
• Demonstrating lack of self-respect or respect for others (if you do one, you do the other)
• Unproductive criticism (everyone needs to vent; but there’s a productive way to do this)
• Replaying past events as though they’re still happening (which only triggers more negative emotions in the present)
• Allowing more “news” into your life than you really need to know (this includes any form of “entertainment” or “information” that creates extraneous negative feelings for you about anything that doesn’t have a direct impact on your life or how you choose to engage it)
• Intentionally negative “humor” or comments (sadly, the ability to slam someone with hurtful words, directly or indirectly, is considered a prized trait)
• Paying more attention to what others are doing than what you’re doing
• Telling jokes or using comments to bash others (gender-bashing is top of this list)
• Stating speculations then acting as though they’re facts (ignoring that maybe you don’t have enough information)
• Using the words “always” and “never” (or labels), especially when you assign them to others’ behaviors (which closes your mind to allowing they “could” one day be different)

You can add more to this list as they occur to you. A good question to ask yourself whenever you do one of these is, “What fear is underneath this for me, and how can I address it appropriately?”

Feeding negativity is a learned habit. You can:
1. Acknowledge you engage in it.
2. Remind yourself to get your own attention about this. Author Guy Finley said, “No intention can be any stronger than our ability to remember it in the moment that it is needed.”
3. Start now to begin to do things differently. Choose to ask if your attitude, words, and actions are aligned with opening the path for a desired productive experience and outcome. There’s a difference in telling someone you feel angry and why and asking them to participate in a mutually beneficial resolution, and verbally attacking them. There’s a difference in telling yourself what you feel, why you feel it, and considering what you can do rather than entering the negative vortex.
4. Consider how you really see your authentic self. It isn’t that you have to suppress your personality or nature. It isn’t that you have to deny and keep quiet about what you really feel. It’s about what you do from there and how you do it. What do you really want to feed–as your experience and what you believe about yourself? If you don’t believe in your personal power, and right to live from it, how can you expect to act from there?

Train yourself to respond more often than you react; and acknowledge that will take conscious energy management. Reactions happen when you feel events or others have more power than you do. They don’t; that’s an illusion. They can only have as much power over you as you give them.

Any person or event that tests your personal power is an opportunity for you to pause and consider how you really see yourself: are you a volunteer victim or someone who looks out for your best interests–with integrity? If you feed (or feed on) negativity on a consistent basis, it can seem nearly impossible to feel you embody personal power.

Personal power is not a way of acting–it’s a way of BEing, even if you have to BEcome it one more-consciously-aware moment at a time.

Compare how much time you give to negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions to the time you apply these to what makes you feel authentic, joyful, intentional, fulfilled–living on purpose.

No matter what’s going on around you, you always choose how to experience and process it. When you embrace this as a fact, you stand in your personal power. The more you do this, the more your innate power expands.

Feed negativity or feed intentional living. The choice is yours.

** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.

About the Author:

Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) is a Life Empowerment Coach and Author of “Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business.”

Technorati Tags: conquer fear, dr ken onu, joyce shafer, negativity

Posted in Mind Matters, Motivation, Personal Transformation |

Tags: conquer fear, dr ken onu, joyce shafer, negativity |

No Comments »

The world will be saved by the woman

November 20th, 2009 |

Author: admin

Hi Folks,

I just got this email from my friend Matt Morris author of The Unemployed Millionaire.

Hi Ken,

I first read this quote by The Dali Lama I was quite intrigued.

He said, “The world will be saved by the woman.”

I sincerely believe that The Dali Lama is spot on regarding
the powerful influence women have in our world today. We all know women
who are inspiration in action which is exactly why I knew I had to share
this with you…

One of my best friends, Ellie Drake, rocked the business world
in 2007 by creating the BraveHeart Women’s Online Community,
an innovative resource she designed to help women entrepreneurs
join together like never before in a mutual commitment to success.

I was blown away when Ellie told me about the powerful women
(Dr. Maya Angelou, Leeza Gibbons, Mariel Hemmingway, Susan Anton,
and Lisa Nichols of ‘The Secret’ fame, just to name a few) who are
part of the BraveHeart Community.

This (FREE) social networking site empowers women of all
ages to discover their own voices, expand their potential, and
be the change they want for themselves, their family, their community,
and the world. Ellie and The Women of The BraveHeart Community
have extended a special invitation to Unemployed Millionaires which I
encourage you to take advantage of right away:

BraveHeart Women Global Community

Here are a few things you will learn from The BraveHeart Community:

How ONE SIMPLE SHIFT IN YOUR AWARENESS produces
astronomically more results in less time, with less
effort (you’ll be astonished at how productive you
are with this devastatingly easy change);

How the thoughts of successful WOMEN LEADERS ARE
DIFFERENT from the thoughts of average women (and how
those differences play out in all personal and professional
achievements);

How to banish useless energy like GUILT, SHAME, and
REGRET from your brain so you can stop beating yourself
up (women in particular play out negative emotions over
and over in their heads, which can make them feel horrible);

How to buck the PROCRASTINATION PATTERN any of us can
slip into (you can’t step up to being your strongest self
if you can’t get stuff done);

How to INSTANTLY shift your attitude to transform your
personal ability to lead and inspire (moods and emotions
don’t have to control your destiny);

How to easily break down and dissect the steps of TRUE
PERSONAL, PROFESSIONAL, and GLOBAL FULFILLMENT (it’s shockingly
simple when it’s laid out for you);

How to ‘DETOX’ areas of your life today so you can realize
your dreams and get out of your own way (break the cycle of
repeating habits that don’t serve you anymore);

How to quickly discover your ‘LIFE PURPOSE’ and put it
into action (the Braveheart Community is tailored for meaningful
connections and insights);

How to easily uncover and OVERCOME BLIND SPOTS that hold
you back from being your most magnificent self (all too often
it is US holding ourselves back);

Please feel free to share this with any woman who is inspiration in action:

BraveHeart Women Global Community

Your Partner in Success,

Matt Morris

P.S. Did I mention the cost for registering for the *BraveHeart Women Global Community*
is 100% FREE of charge?

BraveHeart Women Global Community

P.P.S. Are you really still reading this? See what Ellie has to say about
her vision for The BraveHeart Women Global Community:

BraveHeart Women Global Community

Guys forward this to every woman you know…..Ladies….enjoy!

Ken

To peace, harmony love and laughter

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

Posted in This & That |

No Comments »

The Three Foot Giant Premiers

November 15th, 2009 |

Author: admin

I had to get this out this is so INSPIRING! I dont know if you've ever heard of Sean Stephenson?
This is the real deal. He has been called "The Yoda of personal development".
You have to watch his premier on TV (Today Sunday) at 10pm ET. on the Johnny Kimmel show.

Born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a rare disorder causing extremely fragile bones, Stephenson was not expected to live through his first night. Undeterred by his physical limitations, Stephenson faces his life with optimism and enthusiasm. A motivational speaker, self-help guru, published author, and current doctoral degree candidate, Stephenson is also a board certified therapist who practices a breakthrough technique called “Full Immersion,” which features a 12-hour one-on-one therapy process. Despite his accomplishments, every day presents unbelievable physical challenges and dangers for Stephenson and he requires assistance with the simplest activities. Luckily he has a lot of support from his loving parents and sister whom he lives with and a group of loyal, upbeat friends.

I am so excited! I cant tell you…watch his press release here!

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

Posted in This & That |

No Comments »