Dr. Ken Onu – ALIVE , AWAKE, ALERT & AWARE!

Unlocking your genius potential

A friend of mine asked me to re-post this article. I wrote it several years ago.

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

Every human being, however humble, desires to be successful in life. But not everyone has the know-how. Countless books have been written on the subject, but all that material can be summed up in five simple points. Learn to live by these rules and you will find yourself succeeding in both your personal and professional life.

The first rule is to be proactive. Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, once said that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and in that gap lies all our freedom. Even while he was suffering unspeakable horrors in a concentration camp, the realization that he was in charge of his own destiny forced him to think proactively. He decided he was not merely a puppet, meant to act in a certain pre-destined manner, but a human being fully capable of taking the reins of his own life.

This is the kind of attitude each one of us needs to strive for. When we take charge of our own lives, we get to decide our fate and our experiences in life. And because how we think determines our fate, it is entirely in our hands whether we live in a rose garden or a field of weeds. Our thoughts are what shape the world around us.

With power comes responsibility. Therefore, since we have the power to determine our own fate, we need to be able to accept the responsibility that comes along with it. This is the second rule. Not everything that comes our way is a direct result of our thoughts, but what we allow into our lives is. This filtering might occur on a subconscious level, but the subconscious is merely a deeper level of our active mind and takes its lead from there.

Our behavior is also influenced by our thoughts, and so we need to accept responsibility for that too. And not only our own behavior, but also the behavior we accept in others. If we let others take advantage of us, we have only ourselves to blame.

Good leadership skills are vital to success in any field of life, so developing leadership skills is the third rule we need to incorporate. Each one has their own approach to the art of leadership. But before we can be leaders of others, we need to know how to take charge of our own lives. Having our own personal set of values will help in this endeavor. They will act as a compass in our lives, guiding our every action.

Once we have effectively mapped our own course in life, we need to lead others. This leadership may come in various forms – as parents, bosses, or any other situation we are a part of. The best way to lead is by being an example. Once others see the values we live by, they too will be inspired. But any deviation from these values, however small, will bring our whole image crashing down. Our entire credibility will be lost, because our double standards will seal our fate, negating our ability to lead.

A good leader is one who leads subtly and from the rear. Tao Te Ching got it right when he said that the key to building the same harmony that exists in nature is to win the co-operation of others, not to be aggressive. And this, in essence, is the greatest quality of a good leader.

The most commonly given command in the Bible is “Do not be afraid”. Instead, we should face our fears, and in so doing, drive them away. This is another essential when it comes to being successful. M Night Shymalan’s movie ‘The Village’ is about this very concept – facing our fears. When we do, they just vanish before us and we are free of the hold they had on us.

Anytime we attempt something new or venture out of our comfort zone, fear takes hold of us. This is inevitable. Life continues to move forward and we can choose to either move forward with it and grow, or get left behind and die. Growth and fear are inseparable – a package deal. If we cannot accept the whole package, we are as good as dead.

Our greatest fear is failure. But we should remember that failure is the stepping-stone to success. The life of any truly successful person is fraught with failure. It is in overcoming failure and vanquishing our fears that we can succeed.

Similarly, there is no need to fear other people. Everyone has their own vulnerabilities and attacking someone else may just be their defense mechanism. So be patient with them, and above all, don’t fear them.

Last but not least, never stop learning. Learning is intrinsically linked to success in life. When we learn, we grow. And when we grow, we have a chance at success. Life hands us many opportunities for growth and learning. The tougher the situation we are faced with, the more we are likely to learn from it.

Even difficult people have something to teach us. We can learn more about ourselves from them and from events and situations around us. Above all, we can learn from ourselves: by examining our responses and reflecting on them.

These five simple activities and rules, if they become a part of us, will guarantee success in any part of life. They are the foundation of a life well lived.

I wish you well

Dr Ken

Dr Ken Onu is the CEO and founder of Attract Freedom.

He is an Eye Doctor with a vision to eradicate possibility blindness®

He is a keen speaker, communicator, entrepreneur and author. For Free Videos, pdf's, audios, insights, ideas and free personal development courses and sessions =>http://www.attractfreedom.com/

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

  All of us, unconsciously, spend a lot of time and effort trying to avoid feeling or realizing our negative emotions. What a waste of time and energy! Instead, if we would just spend a little time creating in ourselves an awareness of our focus of attention, it would be easier to let go of that negative emotion and move on.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying you should be more actively aware of negative feelings, nor am I saying that you should rid yourselves of them. In trying not to feel or express certain feelings, you only waste precious time and add more mental stress to yourself.

Try this strategy instead: analyze your feeling of envy, doubt, pride, or whatever, and then accept it. There is no need to judge yourself. Just accept such feelings as part of your psyche and move on. Try saying, “oh, that’s just my envy talking.” Automatically, that feeling of envy will dissipate. But if you allow it a place in your mind, you are giving it undue importance, and it will only grow and fester, and one day it will rise to the surface stronger than ever.

So much energy is spent in trying to avoid feeling negative emotions or in trying to suppress them. But the key is to just let those feelings in, acknowledge them and then disregard them. We are wiser for the awareness of ourselves that they have created in us, and so we should be thankful to them too. But do not allow such feelings room to stay. Just let them flit through your body, like a thought passing through your mind.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, when we are true to ourselves, there can be no doubt that we will be true to our fellow men too.

So just accept who you are, negative feelings and all. There is no need to feel guilty or ashamed, we are who we are. Try it and you will feel for yourself a sort of release, a healing even, and a desire to move on.

I wish you well

Dr Ken

Dr Ken Onu is the CEO and founder of Attract Freedom.

He is an Eye Doctor with a vision to eradicate possibility blindness®

He is a keen speaker, communicator, entrepreneur and author. For Free Videos, pdf's, audios, insights, ideas and free personal development courses and sessions =>http://www.attractfreedom.com/

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

How many of us are so busy with jobs and chores that we forget to take the time to stay in touch with our family? We might keep mentally reminding ourselves to phone our mum or sister, but its just so easy to forget such seemingly mundane things in the hustle and bustle of our lives. Unless we are consciously aware of whom we are forgetting, some people will just fade into the background of our lives and stay there.

So how do you show your family you care about them? Start with something simple…just tell them. Tell them how much they mean to you. It sounds simple enough and yet is so hard for some people to actually do.

A surprise visit is another simple way to show you care about them and that you are thinking of them. Just drop in unexpectedly (provided you are on good enough terms with them for that to be welcome) and see their faces light up with joy.

Or, if you can’t visit, at least give them a call. Make it a habit, in fact. After a while, you will start to feel as if you are missing something if you don’t call them. All these actions hold good for family as well as friends.

For your more immediate family (as in, the people you live with – your spouse and kids), you need to make them feel special all the time. Just one text message can brighten up your spouse’s day immensely. It might sound cheesy, but it makes a world of difference. And the best part is, it costs next to nothing (in terms of money as well as time).

You could buy your wife flowers for no reason other than to say she’s special and you love her. Its more meaningful and delightful when its unexpected. And don’t forget to keep your romance alive. Flirt with each other. How long you’ve been married is irrelevant; what matters is keeping that old flame burning.

What about your kids? Buying them toys and gifts might (according to you) show you love them, but how do you show that you like them? Yes, there is a difference between the two. For younger children, their wants are simple. All you have to do is spend half an hour with them – playing with them or just sitting and watching TV together. With older children, they might just want to be left alone, but the fact that you are trying makes a difference and they will recognize that effort. Sometimes, children go through periods where they prefer one parent to another. So when it comes to your turn, make sure you utilize that time wisely. Spend some time alone with them, just talking or listening.

Finally, try to do something together as a family that is out of the normal routine. A dinner or a movie might be all it takes for them to feel that they are special to you and that you genuinely care. Everyone loves surprises, after all. And possibly the easiest and best way you can keep your family close-knit is by having one meal together. Dinner usually works best. When you all sit down together at the end of the day (sometimes the only time during the day that you are all seeing each other), it’s the perfect time to catch up on each other’s lives and to show your interest in what’s happening to them.

Of course, everyone has different methods of showing they care. How do you connect with your family? Share your tips and suggestions with us by leaving a comment here.

I wish you well

Dr., Ken

Dr Ken Onu is the CEO and founder of Attract Freedom.

He is an Eye Doctor with a vision to eradicate possibility blindness®

He is a keen speaker, communicator, entrepreneur and author. For Free Videos, pdf’s, audios, insights, ideas and free personal development courses and sessions =>http://www.attractfreedom.com

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

  Most people make plenty of assumptions about life
 and living that they would find hard to justify if they had to actually explain the basis
  for their beliefs. Certain ‘facts’ are just taken for
  granted – for instance, that the world continues when we are
  asleep. “Of course it does”, our non-thinkers would say
  dismissively. But does it really? Where is the proof behind this?

  Ask them a slightly tougher question and their answer is just as
  forthcoming – does the world continue to exist after you die?
  There are many different ways to justify an answer to this question.
  Some might argue that since they are dead, the world ceases to exist
  for them. Or, there are those who might say that the world continues
  to exist because there is life after death. This response again, leads
  to many new questions. Does life after death mean rebirth, and does
  rebirth mean that you are born as a different person, or just that
  there is a transfer of consciousness from your body to that of another
  living person? Or, is there a different meaning altogether, in that
  life after death means life in heaven.

  The majority of people would not even consider such questions, because
  it is so much easier to just make assumptions. They don’t care
  to logically work out an answer or ponder more deeply on any topic,
  because it requires too much of an effort. “We’ll leave
  that to the great thinkers”, they say. But if you don’t
  ask yourselves questions such as these, you’ll never find the
  answers and that is when the problem of assuming creeps in. Whether
  they are small assumptions or big life-altering ones, it is time to
  start questioning those beliefs. The reason is simple. Questioning
  life, rather then just mindlessly accepting it will make a world of
  difference to your self-development.

  So start now – make a list of all your assumptions. Then go one
  step further: make a list of assumptions people generally make in life
  and post them here as a comment. Perhaps we can attempt to answer them
  together.

I wish you well

Dr Ken

Dr Ken Onu is the CEO and founder of Attract Freedom.

A Global Community with the sole purpose of empowering people to personal and financial freedom.

He is an Eye Doctor with a Vision to eradicate possibility blindness®

.

He is a keen speaker, communicator, entrepreneur and author.

For Free Videos, pdf's, audios, insights, ideas  and free personal development courses and sessions =>

http://www.attractfreedom.com

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous

Occasionally, we cross paths with people we don’t like. The reasons are varied. Personality clashes could be one reason. But if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that the most common reason is jealousy – we want something the other person has. It could be a physical trait, like good looks; or it could be something on a different level, like intelligence or confidence.

If we recognize the reason for our dislike, we can find a way to combat it. But as is so often the case, people are not honest with themselves, so they don’t recognize their feeling of jealousy for what it is. This is when relationships fail.

In life, we may come across thousands of people we dislike and even abhor. And sometimes, the feeling may be mutual. Or, it could even be the reverse – the other person detests us. It’s a fact of life and completely unavoidable – we just cannot like everyone or be liked by everyone. A simple solution is to just avoid such people.

Here’s the problem though: what happens when you meet someone at the workplace whom you dislike, and then find out that you have to work with said person on a project…for an extended period of time?! If you let your feelings get in the way of your work relationship, things could get out of hand. Either put your feelings on the back burner, or (better still), find a way to rid yourself of those negative feelings. The best way to do that is to find something to like in that person. Let’s face it, every person, no matter how despicable they may seem, has some good qualities. So just mentally note five qualities you deem good in that person and focus on them. A good relationship is now already in the making.

To cement that good relationship, try speaking to them. Even if, at first, you get no response, keep trying. A simple “good morning” may be all it takes to break the ice. Perhaps, you could even draw from your mental list of ‘likables’ and comment on one of those qualities. Even the most humble among us lap up praise. This is not necessarily sucking up to the person; merely thawing that frigid exterior (possibly made frigid by your attitude).

Next, you could try to recognize what their strength is. For most people, their strengths are easily visible from the get go. But if not, look a little deeper and come up with something. This too, would help you to combat your negative feelings towards the other person.

Finally, to seal the deal (so to speak), try having a mental conversation with your nemesis. Imagine you and the other person having a pleasant conversation. You both are getting along so well, even apologizing to each other for past ill will. Follow this exercise a few times a week, and that image could become a reality.

It is so much nicer to make friends than to make enemies, and the unnecessary mental tension it relieves you from would make it worth your while.

I wish you well

Dr Ken

www.attractfreedom.com

Posted via email from kenon’s posterous